Essentials of Love

The February edition of the Chaplain's Corner by Pastor Dave, SCYL Chaplain

In February we celebrate Valentine’s Day. We think about what love means, and what it means to be in love. There are a few things that go with being in love. First of all, love means mutual respect. We need to respect our lovers as persons and respect what they want. Love is destroyed when we try to push our own desires on someone else. Love never seeks to dominate. We become very happy when we are in love. But this happiness sometimes fades after we have been with someone for a while. That is why to truly love, we need also to be friends with our lovers. Love can be called deep friendship—maybe even the deepest friendship. Our lovers can often be our best friends. And the longer a person remains with their beloved, the deeper the friendship grows. Staying friends makes love last. When we love, we find our own joy when our lover is happy. We seek to make our lovers happy according to what they find happy, not what makes us happy. Of course lovers share happiness together and do things together. But it is important to remember that our lovers are individuals just as we are individuals and we need to respect who they are as individuals. Finally, mutual love is given by God, from God. Love is holy. God gives us love as a way of making us as happy as we can be. This is because God loves us more than we can imagine, and lovers want to make their beloved happy. So God wants to make us happy. Swedenborg tells us that “. . . . all the states of blessedness, satisfaction, delight, gratification, and pleasure that could ever be conferred on people by the Lord Creator are gathered into this love” (CL 68). So when you find someone who you love, and who loves you, remember these few important things about being in love. Then both your own happiness will grow and also the happiness of your beloved.